so last week i had the pleasure of being down in dellyware on a tuesday.  this of course meant that i was able to go to the NAA, and i actually read something.  btw, did anyone read the corpses last night that we wrote last week?  i didn't really have the opportunity to get any kind of critique on the poem then, so here it is.

people generally stick the bronx with some kind of stigma, but i thought i would introduce all of you to my bronx, and my garden. . . .

I took a breath today.
Took a break from the words swimming on the page
Took a break from the smothering feeling I get when deadlines approach
Stepped outside.

Filled my head with Lily of the Valley scented air while
I took out my frustrations on the weeds in my garden
Ripped them out by the roots
Felt a small victory with each one
Now my flowers have the space to breath.

maybe that's really what i needed. . .

Guilt	What is yours?	Explain yourself
Culinary:	haagan daaz coffee ice-cream with fox's u-bet chocolate syrup	do i really need to explain?
Literary:	bad fashion magazines that promote unhealthy body images, and give bad relationship advice.	it is definitely entertainment, although does it really count as literature?
Audiovisual:	"The Surreal Life"	Past cast lists have included; Vanilla Ice, Eric Estrada, Janice Dickenson, Mini-me, Pepa (from Salt and Pepa), Flavor Flav, and Charo. If that isn't entertainment I dunno what is.
Musical:	gwen stefani's "love. angel. music. baby."	fuck off. and you don't need to tell me it's crap. i am aware. i don't care. eat me.
Celebrity:	Johnny Depp	celebrities may come and go but johnny depp will always be sexy

Now I tag:-

diva_dot azureflame bartero blackstone and quixote82


to complete this same Quiz, Its HERE.

A work in progress. . . with no title:

I.
I closed my eyes and found you
right where I needed you to be.

In between reason and fantasy
Where all my greatest fears lay,
and hope becomes
my desperate attempt towards salvation.

It is only in the place that I am truly
my terrified self.

II.
I feel. . .
I feel uninspired.
Restless and Lazy

My muscles ache to do work,
but my mind is tired of its strain
Sleep comes uneasily

I need a gun to my head to quell my boredom.
I've spent days finding imperfections in the spackle on my walls.

I'm ready for a change
and I am petrified as to what it might be.

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me.

It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you.

in the spirit of enjoying watching skating in the olympics -----




::giggles::
i love it

so its been like over a month since i posted anything (publicly anyway).



first i wanted to thank matt and hannah for finally coming up to visit me. . . there was much fun to be had.. . . . . .
and for roberta visiting me as well even if she was up here for work anyway.

and thanks to christina and lou for joining in on the fun on friday night.


i am anxiously waiting to hear from the schools i applied to . and if all goes how i want it to, i will be going to nyu in the fall.

as far as my f-ed up knee goes. i am done with physical therapy, only because the problem remaining can't be helped by p.t. i will be getting a couple cortisone injection, and if that doesn't work then i will be going for surgery. . . . again. yay plica syndrome!


an another note. . .NYC is cold as hell right now and the wind is really kicking.

oh, and my piece of shit laptop is broken. . . but for the first time it is my fault. perhaps this will speed up the process of getting a new one that my parents promised me for my graduation. i'm gonna be getting a Mac.

because i needed a laugh. . .

There are many misconceptions about the differences between Christmas and Chanukah. This should clear them up!

1. Christmas is one day, same day, every year: December 25th. Jews also love December 25th. It's another paid day off work. We go to the movies and out for Chinese food.

2. Chanukah is eight days. It starts the evening of the 24th of Kislev, whenever that is. No one is ever sure. Jews never know until a non-Jew asks when Chanukah starts, forcing us to consult a calendar so we don't look like idiots. We all have the same calendar, provided free with a donation from the World Jewish Congress, the kosher butcher, or the local Jewish funeral home.

3. Christmas is a major holiday. Chanukah is a minor holiday with the same theme as most Jewish holidays. They tried to kill us. We survived. Let's eat.

4. Christians get wonderful presents such as jewelry, perfume, stereos. Jews get practical presents such as underwear or socks.

5. There is only one way to spell Christmas. No one can decide how to spell Chanukah, Chanukkah, Chanukka, Channukah, Hanukah, Hannukah, etc.

6. Christmas is at time of great pressure for husbands and boyfriends. Their partners expect special gifts. Jewish men are relieved of that burden. No one expects a diamond ring on Chanukah.

7. Christmas brings enormous electric bills. Candles are used for Chanukah. Not only are we spared enormous electric bills, but we get to feel good about not contributing to the energy crisis.

8. Christmas carols are beautiful; Silent Night, Come All Ye Faithful. Chanukah songs are about dreidels made from clay or having a party and dancing the horah. Of course, we are secretly pleased that many of the beautiful carols were composed and written by Jews. And don't Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond sing them beautifully.

9. A home preparing for Christmas smells wonderful. The sweet smell of cookies and cakes baking. Happy people gather around in festive moods. A home preparing for Chanukah smells of oil, potatoes, and onions. The home, as always, is full of loud people all talking at once.

10. Women have fun baking Christmas cookies. Jewish women burn their eyes and cut their hands grating potatoes and onions for latkes (thats potato pancakes).

11. Parents deliver presents to their children on Christmas. Jewish parents have no qualms about withholding a gift on any of the eight nights.

12. The players in the Christmas story have easy to pronounce names such as Mary, Joseph, and Jesus. The players in the Chanukah story are Antiochus, Judah Maccabee, and Matta whatever. No one can spell it or pronounce it. On the plus side, we can tell our gentile friends anything and will believe it.

13. Many Christians believe in the virgin birth. Jews think "Joseph, Bubela, snap out of it. Your woman is pregnant, you didn't sleep with her, and now you want to blame God. Here's the number of my shrink."

so the weekend went reasonably well. and once again i have more issues with the staff than with the kids.

my dad goes in for his by-pass operation tomorrow. i stayed at my folks place last night so i could spend some time with him. we went through my music collection together and i burned him a CD of mp3s that he is going to have with him in the hospital and can listen to after surgery. it made me feel somewhat helpful. 'cause what can i really do for him right now?

the operation is going to be at least 5 hours long. thats a long time to be in a waiting room hoping all is well. . . . and i should know. i've done that wait twice before for my grandparents.


but right now, it is a beautiful day outside. and i'm just trying to keep my focus to finish this stupid business law paper i'm working on.


. . . sigh . . .

You scored as Lara Croft. A thrill-seeking, slightly unscrupulous, tough-as-nails archaeologist, Lara Croft travels the world in search of ancient relics perhaps better left hidden. She packs two Colt .45s and has no fear of jumping off buildings, exploring creepy tombs, or taking on evil meglomaniacs bent on world domination. </td> Lara Croft 96% James Bond, Agent 007 67% Neo, the "One" 63% Batman, the Dark Knight 58% Indiana Jones 54% El Zorro 54% Maximus 54% William Wallace 50% Captain Jack Sparrow 46% The Amazing Spider-Man 46% The Terminator 42% Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

p.s. nigel-aren't you feelin' lucky

had a lovely halloween at a Misfits show with Nigel and Jon.

And i only got stepped on a couple of times. . . . yay for having a boyfriend that is big enough to protect you from the drunk morons that start a mosh pit next to the bar.

its getting really nasty outside. its really bumming me out.


and speaking of bumming me out. . . . .

it has been 7 months, to the day, since my knee surgery and it still hurts all the time. it still wakes me up at night. and most importantly, it still is no where near close to strong enough for me to be able to get back on the ice. . . . . . sigh.

well i'm off to physical therapy now.

so here's to hoping that tonight i actually get some sleep.

create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.



and i was on the ice in 13 of these states.

All I know is that this past weekend went way too fast.

so in a nutshell this is the shit that has been on my mind lately.

- my dad's health. he had a cardiac "episode" that resulted in an angiogram that revealed that he has several blockages. 3 of which are more than 90% (there are 7 in total). something very unusual for a man with no high blood pressure, not over weight, never smoked, exercises a few times a week, and with no family history. needless to say we were shocked. so right now he is meeting with different cardiologists and surgeons to figure out his best option. he will be going for a stress test at columbia to determine more.
it seems he will be needed a bypass operation. at least the problem was found before he had any heart damage.

- its been 5 months after my knee surgery and i am still not where i thought i should be by now. and i was just given a 3 month estimate as to when i will be "back to normal." in other words, that's how long i am going to have to wait until i can get back on the ice.

- i have been waiting for a contract for work since last september. needless to say i am feeling rather unappreciated. grrrrrrrrrrr.

went horseback riding yesterday for the first time since my knee surgery.

riding through the woods in the cool morning air. . . getting wet from the precipitation on the trees . . .

perfection.



I think my horse, Sundance, had a good time as well.